. . . and all that i've done . . .
i hope that it counts . . .
i'd rather be knocked down . . .
than to be knocked out . . .
-- Bleach, Knocked Out
from Again for the First Time
so, for a while i wondered if i had what it takes to be a writer . . .
i mean, every good writer leads a really sad and tortured life, right?
well, my life isn't all that bad . . .
i have a steady job . . .
despite my grievances with it . . .
i have a wonderful family . . .
i have a beautiful wife and a beautiful child . . .
do i need something to be wrong . . .
so, i started thinking about it . . .
and i realized that i've got something . . .
*eh, i scrapped this entry*
[sounds too much like a pity party]
10 November 2k2
ahh . . .
the fresh smell of the doldrums . . .
very very frustrating . . .
well, i've realized that a writer is only as good as his or her readership . . .
i also have realized that i have a next-to-nonexistant readership . . .
so, it's difficult to work up the motivation . . .
as if it weren't difficult enough . . .
5 November 2k2
i saw a really good episode of a television show that i sometimes enjoy . . .
it's a lawyer show that comes on pretty late for my tastes . . .
esp. on a work night . . .
but this particular episode was really interesting . . .
one of the cases involved a stem cell research clinic . . .
so the arguments turned toward the religious aspects of the issue . . .
and within the firm, one of the partners was labeled as anti-Catholic . . .
because he made some snide remarks about Catholics in general . . .
(mainly regarding priests and recent headlines) . . .
anyway . . .
one of the other partners (a Catholic) confronted him privately . . .
and asked him why he was anti-Catholic . . .
the response was something like "I'm not anti-Catholic, I'm a Christian man" . . .
to which the reply was "are you? . . . really?" . . .
somewhat subtly it was stated taht there is more to being a Christian . . .
than being raised in a church, going once in a while . . .
it's your day to day actions that distinguish you as a Christian . . .
well, they are supposed to anyway . . .
the other plot (because what good show has only one plot nowadays) . . .
was a lady that sang a song every morning to prepare to face the day . . .
the problem was that her neighbor didn't like overhearing the song every morning . . .
so he took her to court . . .
in the closing remarks, the lady's lawyer said something to this effect . . .
"Peace and quiet are over rated . . .
we buy bigger houses . . .
get bigger yards . . .
build bigger fences . . .
all in the name of peace and quiet . . .
we walk through crowds . . .
with our headphones on . . .
in the name of privacy . . .
somehow this is supposed to make our lives better . . .
more comfortable . . .
warmer . . .
and in reality, it makes us lonely . . .
it seems to me that we should let our neighbors voices come through our walls more often" . . .
what a thought. . .
couple that with a Christian perspective and you've got cud for weeks . . .
and i think to myself . . .
someday again, i will have something of my own to contribute . . .
4 November 2k2
"i'm finding myself at a loss of words . . .
and the funny thing is . . . it's okay"
- Mercyme Word of Godspeak on Spoken For
i wish it felt okay . . .