18 November 2001

Do you understand God? . . .
can you comprehend Jesus and all he did on Earth . . .
does it frustrate you when you realize that understanding is unattainable in regards to God?
well in reading John, i came across an interesting use of the word. . .

"the light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it"
- John 1:5

another translation replaces "understood" with "comprehends" . . .
but both texts mention that a better use of the word is "overcome" . . .
perhaps a bit puzzling at first glance, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense . . .
if you understand something completely, it has nothing else to offer you . . .
it becomes boring and unnecessary . . .
an illustration that comes directly to mind is tavern puzzles . . .
you've seen them, you may have even purchased one or two .. .
i'm talking about those cast iron mind teasers that present a seemingly inmpossible challenge . . .
For example, the two horseshoes chained together, creating an iron oval, and a ring trapped on the oval . . . and the goal is to free the ring from the unbreakable circuit . . .
well, the point is, if you've ever been intrigued by these and purchased one or two like i have . . .
you probably have had the same experience i've had with them . . .
and that is this:
i spend my money on it, i spend a few hours or some amount of time solving it . . .
and then i spend the rest of the week or so wondering why i wasted my money on an ugly contraption that offers me nothing . . .
i completely understood the puzzle, therefore, i had overcome all it had to offer . . .
that can never happen with God because we can never fully comprehend Him . . .
He has everything to offer and is so complex that the world can never find a solution for Him. . .
and when i don't understand God and i start to get frustrated . . .
i need to realize, that it is for that very reason [that i cannot understand], that i should feel comforted . . .
God will never be obsolete . . .
He is and was and forever will be . . .
amen.


14 November 2001

wow, i got really riled up this morning concerning the issue of the Harry Potter fad . . .
i was listening to the radio station banter i normally listen to on the drive to work . . .
and today they were taking calls and speaking freely against the upcoming movie and the books . . .
every caller seemed to agree that this whole thing was atrocious . . .
i heard several times, "harry potter is evil", "it's not of God", "it is evil", and on and on . . .
some big arguements had to do with the effect this has on the youth . . .
who are "ignorant, and subject to manipulation" . . .
first of all, these are people that have not read the books expressing such strong opinions about it . . .
it's always been a bit of vexation to me that people with uninformed opinions are often the loudest voices . . .
and this whole issue is age-old . . .
i am tired of parents passing the responsibility of raising their kids on the media. . .
if your worried about what your kid is watching on tv, watch it them, explain why you question it . . .
HAVE A DISCUSSION WITH YOUR CHILD . . .
i did things my parents didn't want me to, all kids do . . .
i listened to music they didn't approve of, they labeled "evil" . . .
i ended up fine though because my parents grounded me in truth and scripture . . .
so i was able to measure and weigh what i heard with what i knew to be true . . .
that's my job, that's the job we all have . . .
and we couldn't do it unless we know the truth . . .
when tellers at a bank are trained to detect counterfeit money, they are immersed in real money . . .
thus when they encounter fake bills, they recognize the differences between the real and the phony . . .
we must train ourselves and our youth in the same manner . . .
then when we come across such controversial instruments, it is blatently obvious whether it is right or wrong . . .
and the proper method of dealing with it is also apparent . . .
my recommendation in this case is to stop whining about it, and if it really bothers you .. .
put that effort towards sharing the truth . . .
i'm off the soapbox


13 November 2001

Attempt 2: five days later
i had a good weekend, except that it lacked any productivity . . .
i didn't write, i didn't really do much of anything . . .
but i did recover to some extent . . .
up 'til monday morning around 3 am when i woke up shaking again . . .
terrified . . .
the latest of dreams fresh in my head . . .
following is an attempt to recount what i saw pass before my unconsciousness . . .


i was sitting on a couch in a house facing a television but watching out the window placed above the television . . .
(now, as far as i know about dreams, such a scene should represent a level of comfort in which i was engulfed . . .
but i don't know all that much so i'll just go on . . .)
so we're watching out the window and it is early evening as far as i could tell . . .
the moon was full and glaring and the evening left us staring . . .
unsettled, the moon began to lose position in the sky, falling and rising . . .
it played on the horizon as on a tether . . .
the sun soon joined its parther in the game . . .
it was nearly nauseating watching them flutter about in the air . . .
'til at one point they calmed and joined together as one . . .
and where they met along the horizon, they began to rise a unified force . . .
upon reaching the top of the sky, as on they scoured the lands below with a spotlight-like beam . . .
searching . . .
scanning . . .
trying . . .
and suddenly . . .
all was quiet . . .
akin to all my fears . . .
i was alone . . .
silent in my tears . . .
i should've pondered my next step . . .
instead i slept . . .


8 November 2001

i can't really describe the funk i've sunken into . . .
if you've noted that it's been quite some time since i've had a music review . . .
i am working on launching a separate site exclusively for music stuff . . .
filed under many other things cluttering my mind . . .
i can offer no feasible excuse for the dead air i have provided over the last few weeks . . .
i have seriously been bogged down in some sort of funk. . . .
i am slowly efforting to leave these ranks and begin writing again . . .
here is attempt number one . . .


watermelons . . .
for some reason i was discussing watermelons the other day and i can't breach that topic without thinking of two things . . .
first i remember singing in front of the church in a choir-type thing . . .
why? well in such circumstances, and when lyrics are forgotten, a good tip is to mouth the word "watermelon" repeatedly . . .
the word "watermelon" causes you mouth to hit many different positions and it appears that you are singing relevant lyrics . . .
just something i remember . . .
the other instance has a little more substance, i promise . . .
once when i was growing up, i was allotted a portion of the family garden one summer . . .
being an avid watermelon fan, i decided to plant a watermelon . . .
now, i decided to plant a little late in the season so i didn't actually get much as far as "juicy" results . . .
actually as i remember, it pretty much sprouted into an over-grown vine with no trace of fruit . . .
well, i was a little discouraged, but was assured that the watermelon would grow the following summer . . .
and that it would likely sprout fruit too, because it would start growing at the beginning of the season. . .
then, i was confronted with another, more serious dilemma . . .
we moved before the next summer came around . . .
as i'm told, the watermelon flourished that summer and commandeered nearly the entire garden . . .
i never saw or tasted any bit of watermelon from the seeds i put in the garden . . .
and boy did that bother me for a while . . .
but such is life . . .
i have since realized that each of us has different function in life. . .

"[Paul] planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.
So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.
The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor." - I Cor 3:6-8

i am so blown away by what i have found in the Bible . . .
and here i am sweating the fact that i didn't get any fruit . . .
am i not acting like a mere man? . . . .


i am so zoned out, i don't quite understand what i'm going through . . .
one step at a time . . .