29 August 2001

CD of the day: Relient K - The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek

i just went on a trip a while ago that involved a lot of driving . . .
(yes, i will get back to the dental series soon, maybe tomorrow) . . .
revio and another illustration came to mind . . .
well, this has come to mind many times before, i just never recorded it . . .
so i'm driving along and the sun is shining . . .
and i stubbornly leave the visor in it's upright position . . .
so it serves no purpose what-so-ever . . .
and i'm going along feeling fine, thinking that everything is normal . . .
and as it should be . . .
and i come to a tunnel . . .
pay toll, slow down, et cetera, et cetera . . .
but as i enter the tunnel my eyes relax . . .
and boy does that feel good . . .
all the muscles around my eyes that had been flexed to lessen the sunlight released at once . . .
and i felt so at ease and relaxed . . .
and BAM! . . .
no i didn't hit anything, but this thought hits me . . .
how often in life do we settle for the current situations as they are, without taking advantage of what's there to help us . . .
and how much better do we feel when we actually do . . .
to parallel this, let's say God offers help with lifes minor problems . . .
which He does, but we of the stubborn caliber leave his help in the upright position . . .
ya follow? . . .
thinking to ourselves, it's just a little bright, it's not that bad, i barely even notice . . .
and maybe you don't, until it's gone and you realize then just how tense you were . . .
how much you could have used that help . . .
see, we fall further and further into life's problems, because of our own will . . .
and as things get progressively worse, we don't even notice . . .
because it's just a little at a time . . .
things slowly but surely build up and before we know it our eyes are almost completely closed to the solutions . . .
and sometimes God will reach down and intervene (as in going through a tunnel) . . .
so that we finally notice what's happening . . .
and o what a relief we feel when we let him take over . . .
when we fell His protection . . .
but sometimes He doesn't . . .
sometimes He's stubborn, too . . .
He's already offered the help, we have to take it . . .
He won't always make us accept His help . . .
but oh, what a relief when we do . . .


28 August 2001

CD of the day: Skillet - Alien Youth

truly believe

if i truly believe . . .
what do i fear?
why do i feel the chills . . .
glance sideways at strange sounds . . .
embellish what i hear . . .
if i truly believe . . .

if i truly believe . . .
why can't i listen?
why don't i hear your voice . . .
you tell me where to go . . .
the path to follow, i've stumbled on . . .
if i truly believe . . .

if i truly believe . . .
why is it so hard?
why do i flood my mind . . .
with my own desires . . .
i know this life is temporal . . .
if i truly believe . . .

why did i ever leave?
if i truly believe . . .
who do i decieve?
lest i truly believe . . .


27 August 2001

CD of the day: Kevin Max - Stereotype BE

i'm going to ignore the fact that i left you hanging about the dentist metaphors for now . . .
and that it's been 12 days since the last time i wrote. . .
That said . . .

being that i am male one maxim i've often been quoted on is that Duct tape can fix everything . . .
leaky pipe, throw some duct tape on it . . .
storage bin won't stay shut, duct tape it . . .
no seal on the trunk to the smashed-up rear end of your car, duct tape'll do the trick . . .
work mate pester you with never-ending annoying questions? a little duct tape cheek to cheek . . .
anyway, i often make claims for duct tape as the ultimate problem solver . . .
the ultimate survival kit consists of duct tape, WD-40 and a pair of crooked scissors . . .
and, i stand by the fact that duct tape can fix quite a bit . . .
HOWEVER . . .
the duct tape on the pipe gets gooey, and the pipe burst 3 inches further down . . .
the storage bin now has sticky residue all over the lid and it still doesn't seal right . . .
and the weather took a toll on the duct tape holding the trunk down and on the third re-apply you realize that it took all the paint off . . .
(the workmate, well that leads to numerous other problems so let's ignore that)
So what happened . . .
duct tape was supposed to be the the fix-all . . .
ahh, but it is what we call a surface solution . . .
it doesn't solve the problem, it treats the result . . .
hmm . . . we do that a lot don't we?
most of the medication that is out there today, doesn't cure actually anything . . .
it simply counterbalances some of the symptoms to make you forget about the problem that's causing it all. . .
is that really a good practice? . . .
sure, in some cases, i guess it works out pretty well . . .
when i get a sinus cold i like to take a pill to help clear up some of the congestion . . .
but that's a temporary problem, what if it's something worse . . .
what if it's not even a physical ailment . . .
what if it's an inate level of immaturity that i cover by changing the subject . . .
or other people cover by walking the other way or conceding for the sake of peace . . .
what if it's a psychological issue that causes bitterness and resentment towards broccoli. . .
and i ignore it because it's just broccoli anyway, and broccoli is just one of many veggies . . .
well, here's what happens . . .
the longer i ignore it, the greater the bitterness, the stronger the resentment . . .
and before i know it it isn't just broccoli, it's peas too . . .
as a matter of fact it's all green vegetable, because who wants to eat green food anyway? . . .
anyway, the idea is that i slowly get worse because i refuse to address the true issue at hand. . .
it isn't that i dislike broccoli, that's a symptom . . .
the question should be, why do i despise the tasty little green trees?
perhaps, when i was younger someone told me that i had to eat broccoli whether i liked it or not . . .
perhaps i had a tiny bit of defiance in me at the time . . .
perhaps, i never addressed this defiance and it got worse as time went on . . .
now i snap at anyone who tries to tell me what to do . . .
(because who do they think they are anyway?) . . .
whatever, but the problem is not broccoli, or even that i don't like it . . .
those are symptoms . . .
so if i solve those symptoms. . .
maybe i sit down and force myself to eat a few trunks of broccoli . . .
and maybe i decide it's not all that bad . . .
i might think that my problem is solved . . .
(hint: this is the duct tape solution) . . .
and i would be totally shocked and devestated when the *pipe* bursts three inches later . . .
so what happened? . . .
i thought i fixed the problem? . . .
nope, i fixed the symptom, ON THE SURFACE . . .
if you see a problem on the surface, you must realize that there also exists, rooted deeply within . . .
a much bigger problem . . .
and you need to have that cavity filled . . .
HA! i even got to tie it into the whole dentist metaphor thing . . .
how crazy is that . . .
all right i gotta go mourn the fact that duct tape doesn't fix everything . . .
my whole system of beliefs is shaken now . . .
(can you sense the sarcasm? 'cause i'm laying it on pretty thick) . . .


15 August 2001

CD of the day: Sammy Ward - My Passion

lets see . . .
teeth are a funny thing, you use them every day, but how often do you think about them?
we've all heard the speech about taking care of our teeth and how important it is to brush, floss . . .
and we've all seen the pictures of rotted out teeth and mouths with blackened molars etc.
with that warning, 'Kids, don't let your teeth get this bad' . . .
and many times we (well at least i) look at these pictures and scenarios and think . . .
hey, my teeth aren't rotting out, my teeth aren't blacked out . . .
i must be doing all right, i'm not that bad . . .
but . . .
then again, what am i saying?
it isn't about comparitive living is it? . . .
here's another scenerio, say you are sitting on the side of the road in your car . . .
lights tossing back and forth blue to red to blue again in the rear view mirror . . .
the officer approaches your car and you're thinking to yourself, . . .
'i wasn't going that fast' or '*that guy* was going faster than i was, he should be here, not me' . . .
well why don't you try that excuse with the officer . . .
what do you think (s)he will say? . . .
"o, well as long as you weren't the worst speeder, go about your business" . . .
nope, the officer would say something to this effect . . .
"who cares? the speed limit is 45 you were going 70" . . .
you see, the point is not how you compare to others . . .
but how you compare to the standard that has been decreed .. .
it's not like hey, i've only got three cavities, 3 out of 36 isn't bad . . .
when it comes time for judgement . . .
it won't matter how poorly your neighbor brushed . . .
that won't effect your case . . .
in the least . . .
anyway, i'm just getting started with the teeth . . .
'til tomorrow . . .


14 August 2001

CD of the day: Various Artists - Exodus

i realize more and more how incredible life is . . .
if ever you need to learn a life lesson or grasp a concept . . .
all you need to do is open your eyes . . .
look, listen, live, learn . . .
wisdom is everywhere, "she calls out to you in the streets . . ."
okay, this is what i'm talking about . . .
i just got back from a dentist appointment . . .
now, if you know me, you know my general mindset for such occasion . . .
and you've likely heard my theories and thoughts on dentistry in general . . .
but get this . . .
i walked away from there today with so many object lessons . . .
it was literally mind blowing . . .
maybe it was too much novocaine . . .
okay, i'll try to sort these all out and pop them in here tomorrow, promise . . .
but i need to get skeedaddeling . . .


10 August 2001

CD of the day: Michael W Smith - Freedom

i shot the worst golf imaginable today . . .
thus, the soothing melodies of MWS as the cd of the day . . .
but hey, it's golf, it's about relaxation . . .
hey, i'm going to start my weekend . . .
i've got a lot on my mind and i'm gonna get getting . . .


9 August 2001

CD of the day: Allies - Long Way From Paradise

well, i must say i feel a little better today . . .
busy as ever but i feel as if i have accomplished some . . .
i submitted a design for that website so we'll see how that goes . . .
i am a bit disturbed by the fact that my web host seems to go down every afternoon . . .
i'll have to scold the company . . .
of course, i'm a non-confrontational kind of guy, so we'll see . . .
i figure most annoyances will work themselves out in time and the majority of them are inconsequencial anyway . . .
i have once again begun this too late in the day and am somewhat hurried by the desire to get home . . .
and i'm golfing tomorrow morning so i can't promise that i'll pick up my train of thought until at least monday . . .
and i have guests tonight . . .
so until next time . . .


8 August 2001

CD of the day: Ten Shekel Shirt - Much

Respect, Responsibility, Restraint . . .
i think these are the three R's that should be taught in school these days . . .
(besides the fact that they all actually begin with the letter "R") . . .
but the point is that these qualities that should be ingrained in our lives have somehow been lost in this day and age . . .
respect .. .
when did it become the norm to be direspectful to authority, and property . . .
to not accept responsibility for your own actions . . .
to have no restraint whatsoever . . .
oh well, i'm just frustrated and distracted today . . .
so it's probably best i punch out and think on a more rosa tabula . . .


7 August 2001

CD of the day: Grits - Mental Releases

Arrogance . . .
sheer arrogance . . .
most artists have this if they're not careful . . .
even terrible artists . . . (maybe especially terrible artists) . . .
so what do we, as a collective society of artists . . .
do to prevent becoming arrogance . . .
my professor of wisdom told me once that "every writer needs to have some arrogance in them . . .
if they didn't why would they be writing?" . . .
makes sense . . .
why else would they assume that what they have to say is worthy of print . . .
worth someone else's time to read, and figure out . . .
but if we are too arrogant, we turn away that same audience . . .
so we must use that arrogance to fuel/ motivate us to write . . .
but balance it with humility to maintain readership . . .
i think a good place to start is to acknowledge that we are all artists in our own way . . .
at least works of art . . .
each of value . . .
for me, it is easy enough to keep humility . . .
because i lose my train of thought frequently . . .
like now . . .


6 August 2001

CD of the day: Rebecca St James - Transform

so all refreshed from the weekend? ha ha
as i dig my hole deeper and deeper, i consider actually writing the rest of those reviews . . .
anyway, i managed to finish Left Behind finally . . .
and i even started the second and i have been granted the ability to read with an open mind and i've enjoyed it . . . .
though i'm still a little unsure how i feel about the 12 book obligation this series carries with it . . .
i'm hoping that the plot maintains my interest rather than becoming repetitive . . .
but i digress . . .
so about artists and their innate need for solitude . . .
certainly artists need a certain degree of seperatism in order to maintain an artistic "view" of life . . .
call it objectivity, call it perspective, call it observation, call it arrogance . . .
the fact is, if some of us didn't stay unfocused on the details and in view of the larger picture . . . .
we would never get anywhere or realize that we are not going anywhere . . .
it is so easy to get absorbed by the details of life and forget what exactly needs to be accomplished during our time in life . . .
even now i'm not quite sure the direction i'm headed . . .
in this monologue or perhaps even elsewhere . . .
one of the things i struggle with is my desire to excel in all areas of life . . .
i want to be the best husband, (the best father eventually), the best programmer, the best writer, the best musician, the best at sports, you get the idea . . .
it may be simply my competitive nature or it may be more, but i see in my situation the frustrations of some women who are told they must match up to the Prverbs 31 wife . . .
without realizing that perhaps you can be all these things, but not all at once . . .
the accomplishments of the p31 wife span many seasons of her life . . .
as should the accomplishments of each of us . . .
by trying to cram all these goals into my life at once i have subjected myself to being mediocre at each . . .
one of my wiser professors at college put it this way . . .
"you can be either a great writer and a lousy husband, a great husband and a lousy writer, or find the balance of the two lives that has escaped the lot of the literary community." . . .
as you can likely tell, i'm still searching for that balance . . .


3 August 2001

CD of the day: Damita - Damita

something about a good round of golf that can really clear up your head . . .
and a bad round of golf helps too . . .
anyway . . .
i've been thinking a lot about the role of the artist in society . . .
one of my lit crit classes haunting me . . .
and it's pretty tough to figure . . .
the romantic period proclaims that the artist should be more of an observer of life . . .
than a liver . . .
anyway, without being boring, that pretty much corresponds with Rom 12:2 . . .
so we should all be like romantic artists . . .
but how do we live . . .
and how do we resolve the arrogance that seperatism often extends . . .
what? . . .
okay, basically i'm sick of people acting strange and distant for the sake of being different . . .
this often occurs with artists . . .
and it's a nuisance and it's annoying and . . .
i'll talk about it further at another time . . .
weekend . . . days off . . party . . .


2 August 2001

CD of the day: DC Talk - Nu Thang

still bogged down . . .
hopefully be better tomorrow . . .


1 August 2001

CD of the day: LifeHouse - No Name Face

i feel a bit overloaded today but wanted to get the month off on the right foot . . .
this month i plan to tackle the issue of artist . . .
(and i use the title generally . . .)
their role in society, how that role has transformed . . .
and how annoying some of them can be, myself included . . .
and why and all that . . .
hopefully i come up with some answers especially in the area of motivation . . .
and hopefully it turns out to be interesting and engaging . . .
for now i must rest . . .