29 May 2k2

umm . . . a full week . . .
my bad . . .
it's not you . . . it's me . . .
anyway . . .
here's a nugget . . .
Can you ever take your car into a shop . . .
without hearing four or five "recommendations" . . .
that need to be made? . . .
that cost 5 times more than you expected to pay . . .
that drive me nuts . . .
ahh, and such is life . . .
so i took my car into the shop for a tweak and a check up . . .
(after driving around for almost a month knowing i should) . . .
and of course came the train wreak of other problems . . .
i "hadn't noticed" . . .
and which this shop was willing to charge me outrageously for . . .
(for example $40 for windshield wipers that generally run $7.50 - $10 ) . . .
anyway . . .
i politely thanked them and told them to tend only to what i originally brought the car in for . . .
and then in my spare time, stewed about their audacity . . .
*enter conscious and insight* . . .
you know . . .
we often will go to God for forgiveness or healing or even relief . . .
for or from or of a certain issue . . .
finally, after ignoring it long enough . . .
we humble ourselves and ask . . .
and a lot of times, at least in my case . . .
that opens the doorway of discussion about all the other issues . . .
i've been ignoring or haven't even noticed yet . . .
how annoying when those are brought up and/or pointed out . . .
i mean, really God, just deal with what i asked You about . . .
leave that other stuff alone . . .
right? . . .
wrong . . .
so is God audacious?
yes. and rightfully so . . .
and hey, at least He doesn't overcharge . . .
and He really could, He's cornered the market on true forgiveness, healing, and relief . . .


i know, i need to write more . . .
and i have lots to say . . .
i'm digging . . .
i see light . . .
i'm diggin dat . . .


i am leaving these up here as i think a lot of you are here to read them . . .

  • In Memory of Grampa
  • In Memory of Uncle Tom

    21 May 2k2

    so, on my way in to work today i was listening to this incredible cd . . .
    and i was thinking about worship music and modern praise albums . . .
    and i'll admit, i'm one of the first to groan and roll my eyes . . .
    when i hear that another contemporary Christian band or artist . . .
    is working on a "praise album" . . .
    it has simply gotten to be such a niche market . . .
    and such a commercial endeavor . . .
    that it seems bands that should have long thrown in the towel . . .
    can tweak some well known choruses . . .
    lay down the tracks and take one last run at the brass ring . . .
    but then i started realizing how, in Heaven, we will all be singing praise choruses . . .
    strictly praise choruses . . .
    and i thought, jeepers, God must not have that diverse of a taste for music . . .
    but, of course i countered myself again, thinking of writing in general . . .
    it seems eveytime i ask anyone for advice on writing . . .
    invariably i hear "write about what you know" . . .
    that has become so very cliche in the writing game, that it turns my stomach to hear it . . .
    (speaking of groaning and rolling my eyes) . . .
    but that's an entirely separate conversation . . .
    anyway, to be short, as i need to punch in . . .
    it seems the better one knows God, you can only write about Him . . .
    and when we are truly in His presence . . .
    when we truly see His glory revealed . . .
    we will be so blown away that we can sing of nothing else . . .


    side note: i came up with an idea as well on the way into work . . .
    i am going to start a feature for TRu-dAT music tentatively called "On The FencePost" . . .
    where i present two viewpoints on a given topic . . .
    guess what the first topic will be?
    i'll let you know when it's up . . .


    19 May 2k2

    well, i'm still pretty tired . . .
    and i've had the whole weekend (starting on Friday) to get over it . . .
    alas, i press on . . .
    i finished my Rocky-thon on Friday . . .
    (only took me three weeks) with Rocky V . . .
    i may have finished last weekend, but i strayed slightly from the course . . .
    by enjoying the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle . . .
    a live action flick with the famous moose and squirrel . . .
    anyway, it was good fun . . .
    let's see, this weekend i visited my friends' office space . . .
    assembled a crib . . .
    went to a few tag sales in the remnants of a heavy morning rain . . .
    went to a ballet . . .
    watched a maple leafs game, (upset that four of their key players return to the lineup, bumping my cousin from the roster) . . .
    and relaxed a little . . .
    my pastor was very profound today . . .
    but i must get to bed . . .


    15 May 2k2

    hey, a picture! . . .
    wow, i'm pretty beat . . .
    i ended up talleying up 15 hours at work yesterday . . .
    and this picture was actually in my line of sight ALL DAY . . .
    that 'tude is my grindstone . . .
    and i really have outdone myself . . .
    i did a whole boatload of work . . .
    that i've never done before . . .
    that i wasn't sure i could do . . .
    using a technology i don't know . . .
    and, it worked . . .
    once again i defeated the odds . . .
    beat the deaeler that dealt with a stacked deck . . .
    i just don't get it . . .
    so, my rantings the other day . . .
    well they hit home because the work i had to do belonged to someone else . . .
    who happened to think it was unimportant "practice" . . .
    anyway . . .
    i just got 2 pageviews while i was writing this . . .
    thank you whoever you are . . .
    hope you check back and read this . . .
    anyway . . .
    i've been thinking about motivation . . .
    drive . . .
    and of course anger . . .
    anyway . . .
    i'm easily distracted when i'm this tired . . .
    when i got home last night i flipped on the Lakers' game . . .
    and watched that for a while . . .
    then i got sucked into a History Channel show about Biblical Disasters . . .
    i got some great thoughts . . .
    but for tonight i'll just mention how disturbing swarms of locusts really are . . .
    *struggling to get back on top of everything* . . .
    and i'm wondering about this poetry contest i entered . . .
    the results were supposed to come out today . . .


    11 May 2k2

    so apparently someone from TNT has been reading this . . .
    there is no other explanation why, when i tuned in this morning . . .
    i found none other than a Rocky-thon on today . . .
    anyway, that's all for now . . .
    nothing profound . . .
    maybe i will write today (and think later) . . .


    10 May 2k2

    so, i'm reading in Acts . . .
    just so happens that my scheduled daily bible readings fall on Acts at the same time we are studying Acts in SS . . .
    (just so happens) . . .
    Also in our normal services, the pastor has been going through Eph. . . .
    and the last few weeks, he's been pounding home the depth of the enmity . . .
    between Jews and Gentiles . . .
    and how revolutionary Paul's message is when he reveals the great mystery . . .
    that Gentiles and Jews have the same claim to God's blessing . . .
    because of the work that Christ accomplished . . .
    of course the Jews thought this was blasphemous . . .
    and the Gentiles probably revelled in this newly found equality . . .
    but get this . . .
    in Acts 14, Paul and Barnabas, on their crusade to bring the gospel to the Gentiles . . .
    are found in Iconium, where they are preaching, teaching and speaking effectively at the synogague . . .
    and they face opposition . . .
    it says in verse two that the Jews who couldn't accept this teaching . . .
    stirred up dissension among the Gentiles . . .
    "poisoned their minds" in the NIV . . .
    and in verse five, "a plot [was] afoot among the Gentiles and Jews, together with their leaders" . . .
    basically to kill Paul and Barnabas . . .
    this is the interesting part . . .
    these two groups who hate each other so much . . .
    perhaps more than any other two groups ever to co-exist . . .
    put that enmity aside, to unite in a murderous plan . . .
    to prevent the teaching that they could live together peacefully . . .
    and in equality . . .
    it seems there will never be a hatred so deep . . .
    as the world's hatred for truth . . .
    than Satan's hatred for justice . . .


    a side note, i finished my picks for the top albums of last year . . .
    though it is pretty raw looking right now . . . you have waited long enough . . . so it is right here on TRu-dAT Music.
    also i recovered 2 older months' archives ( December 2000 and January 2001 ) . . .
    in case you want to stick around for a while . . .

    9 May 2k2 so, i got sucked into this press conference on tv the other day . . .
    it was being held in response to a player's coach criticizing the player's lack of effort . . .
    and apparently presence at practices . . .
    and the player was vehemently opposed to the charges . . .
    not that he denied missing practices, or putting forth a half-effort during practices . . .
    but he was asserting that he didn't need to practice, citing the energy and effort with which he played actual games . . .
    and downplaying the need for practices or playing your best during practice . . .
    well, besides acting the fool as they say, this particular player struck a nerve with something i've been marinating on for the last few days . . .
    practice . . .
    hmmm . . .
    we are not called into this world for practice. . .
    we are called for actual game minutes . . .
    (so the player had somewhat of a point there . . .)
    BUT . . .
    everything leading up to gametime, (learning, preparation, etc . . .)
    is practice . . .
    and whether that's our end goal or not . . .
    and we just determined that it is not . . .
    if we do not give it our all, we will not be our best come gametime . . .
    even if it's not the same sport . . .
    it's the subtlties in life that define us . . .
    it's the discipline, the basics that we learn that transfer to our end goal . . .
    here's the practicality for the non atheletes among us . . .
    if you have a clear direction in your life . . .
    you have a final career or goal in mind . . .
    say, a writer, like myself . . .
    and you currently work in retail, like i used to . . .
    now as it seems, there's not much about working hard in retail that will help launch a writing career . . .
    (it didn't do much for me other than provide me with examples of some interesting characters) . . .
    does that mean, that i don't have to work hard in retail because it's not where i'm "called" . . .
    or where i think i'm called? . . .
    is that a valid excuse for me to slack off and do nothing . . .
    NO . . .
    we are called to do our best in everything we put our hands to do . . .
    as if we are doing it to the Lord . . .
    so, then, there are no excuses . . .
    even if it doesn't seem like it matters at the time . . .


    8 May 2k2

    i bet i faked you out . . .
    you probably thought that since i wrote in the morning yesterday . . .
    that i would write in the morning today . . .
    ha . . .
    sometimes i am unpredictable . . .
    well, i had a pretty uneventful day today. . .
    although i had a lot to talk about and write about . . .
    and i wanted to write this morning . . .
    my work day was truncated and i had to limit my accomplishments to the morning . . .
    i did, learn however, or was reminded anyway . . .
    that there will always be people willing to be idiots . . .
    for the sake of meeting the whims of someone higher up on the status chart . . . .
    * sometimes it is shameful what we will do to gain earthly acceptance * . . .


    anyway, i foresee tomorrow as a bit more productive writing-wise . . .
    i have an article to polish up . . .
    and i have a bunch of nifty ideas whirling around in my head . . .
    so we shall see . . .

    7 May 2k2 (AM)

    WOW! a morning entry . . . WAHOO!
    i have spent a bit of time this morning efforting to re-gain my thoughts from last night . . .
    here's my attempt . . .
    (i'll start with my opening line before i lost the train) . . . RE: Rocky IV . . . it was interesting to watch as they compared the workouts of Ivan Drago and Rocky . . .
    Technology vs. Flesh and Blood . . .
    the Unknown vs. Known training methods and practices . . .
    Pure Strength vs. Pure Heart . . .
    Even the cold, ungiving, lifeless steel of barbells contrasted with the warm, living wood of a log or an oxcart . . .
    -- and yes, i caught the Christ imagery . . .
    sometimes i wonder when it was i stopped watching movies superficially . . .
    anyway, it is an interesting comparison, (the two workouts) . . .
    because it just shows how afraid of Drago's workout people were at the time . . .
    afraid of change, afraid of the technology, afraid of the unknown . . .
    i think it really boiled down to the fact that Rocky grew a beard and Drago didn't . . .
    i mean, how intimidating is someone who can't grow facial hair, anyway? . . .
    anyway, as a whole, this has changed and everything now seems geared toward technology . . .
    pressing on to the "future" regardless of the cost . . .
    and then, sadly, how as a whole (meaning not all, but a majority) . . .
    Christians are still stuck in that mindset of technology, "bad" . . .
    living unitellectual, stuck-in-our-ruts lives "good" . . .
    no wonder we have such a hard time reaching others . . .
    *i collapse as someone kicks the soapbox from under me* . . .


    6 May 2k2

    Yeah, so i guess i'm thinking again . . .
    not that i really wrote over the weekend . . .
    i guess i kinda wrote that off . . .
    it's kinda tough for me not to think . . .
    i'll work on it . . .


    So in Sunday School class this weekend . . .
    (not the Sunday School setting your thoughts might conjure up . . .
    . . . we are all adults) . . .
    we've been discussing and studying the book of Acts . . .
    and the teacher accidently used the pejorative phrase "Petering out" . . .
    describing the dispersal of the movements referenced by Gamaliel in chapter five . . .
    of course "Petering out" refers to when Peter denied Christ during the trial . . .
    but, if you read on in the beginning of Acts, Peter actually lives up to his namesake . . .
    (Peter, from the Greek Petr means "Rock") . . .
    and actually dispells the pejorative phrase. . .
    that's it, i just thought that was pretty funny . . .
    i am really enjoying the class by the way . . .


    So, i have continued my ongoing, Rocky-thon . . .
    (i just finished Rocky IV) . . .
    and i know a lot of people think i'm crazy . . .
    but i am picking out some gems from these movies . . .
    i'll expand more later i promise . . .
    but right now, with R4 fresh in my head, i'll leave you with this . . .
    it was interesting to watch as they compared the workouts of Rocky and Drago . . .
    natural vs. hi-tech . . .
    darn it, i lost it . . .
    i hate that . . .
    another day perhaps . . .


    3 May 2k2

    So, i'm realizing, i start a lot of my thoughts with "so," . . .
    (yeah, that was a waste of the last fifteen seconds) . . .
    anyway, soap suds. . .
    yeah, soap suds . . .
    i was talking about soap suds the other night. . .
    because our new soap doesn't bubble as much as our old soap . . .
    but it still does the job . . .
    you see, it isn't that bubbles that make you clean . . .
    it's the soap . . .
    the bubbles are just the visible sign of the cleaning process . . .
    and it struck me . . .
    there is quite a difference between being clean and bearing the visible signs of being clean . . .
    and not just regarding body odor . . .
    you get the idea . . .


    so, i began reading Kevin Max's book, Unfinished Work . . .
    and i have a good feeling about it . . .
    also, i told my friend that i had been reading his online journal . . .
    and then he stopped writingfor 3 days . . .
    i thought maybe i had made him paranoid or self-conscious or something . . .
    but then again, it's only three days, and who am i to gripe about skipping three days of journaling? . . .
    gulp . . .
    watched Finding Forester again . . .
    and my conscience is beating me about the brow . . .
    "the first step to writing is to write" . . .
    "think later" . . .
    my goal this weekend is to write . . .
    i can think again on monday . . .

    2 May 2k2

    So, i was thinking about pool strangely enough . . .
    since i haven't played in a while . . .
    and i was thinking about playing pool on a table with a dead wall or two . . .
    it makes sinking the rack difficult when everytime you go to bank a shot . . .
    it hits the wall with a thud and loses almost all momentum . . .
    and instead of taking the angle you expect .. .
    dribbles off in a different direction . . .
    anyway, i was realizing that sometimes life imitates a shotty pool game . . .


    So i was watching Behind Enemy Lines and it strikes me . . .
    there are countries and places in the world where chaos is the code . . .
    death is a daily hurdle . . .
    people fear for their lives every day . . .
    that's not just television, that's not just a movie . . .
    that's real life . . .
    and i'm thinking, man, am i blessed to have to worry about my car squealing when i start it . . .
    being "excrutiatingly" hot and needing the a/c . . .
    how i can defeat this wandering mind that cramps up with writer's block . . .
    ahh, what a day . . .
    thanks God . . .