::24March03::

so . . .
i have found a bit of comfort in the following verse . . .

"Now Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry."
      - Luke 3:23 NIV

perhaps i am not as far behind as i thought . . .
or at least i have a bit of breathing room . . .


so, the war has been on every station . . .
and on many minds . . .
including my own . . .
i can't seem to shake a really bad feeling that i have about it . . .
anyway . . .
things i am sick of about the war . . .
the non-stop coverage that makes it look like its a big game of electronic Risk . . .
the nonchalant attitude of people around me . . .
(it is pretty serious you know) . . .
the endless war protesters . . .
what exactly do you think you are accomplishing . . .
all you are doing is proving to the world that you are selfish, ignorant, and immature . . .
Michael Moore's little tantrum last night was definitely something to be ashamed of . . .
anyway . . .
that's the short version of my rant today . . .


::18March03::

man, am i out of it . . .
i didn't realize all yesterday that it was St. Patrick's Day . . .
maybe i would've written with a green font or something . . .
but, hey, at least i wrote . . .


it is becoming more and more apparent to me that my "cheese" is on the move . . .
or soon will be . . .
anyway . . .
since i'm on the subject . . .
i should probably clarify a bit about what bothers me about that book . . .
it's not that i'm opposed to change . . .
or helping people be prepared for change . . .
i have been through periods of such great change that i completely understand the importance of being prepared . . .
the big deal, and where Cheese fails . . .
is that the book asserts that the best way to be prepared and equipped for changes . . .
is to be unburdoned, and untied to a system of beliefs . . .
"flexible" . . .
and this plays nicely into a world with no absolutes . . .
however, i have learned in my lifetime that without something to count on . . .
an anchor if you will . . .
you will never make it . . .
you will be tossed about like the waves of an ocean . . .
and that absolute is of course God. . .
simple as that . . .


::17March03::

sometimes i wonder what it is i've actually done wrong . . .
the full nature of my transgressions . . .
for there seems to be no rest for me . . .
as for the wicked . . .


well, we journeyed over the weeekend . . .
and despite my poor attitude going into the trip . . .
i am quite glad that we made the trip . . .
i can still use some solid rest but it was worthwhile overall . . .
we basically went for a funeral, which is generally not an enjoyable experience . . .
and it was a funeral for someone i had only met once . . .
not only was the funeral enjoyable . . .
(if that is allowed) . . .
but it was very eye-opening and intriguing . . .
you see, this was a man who affected many lives and lived a full life . . .
i couldn't help, as i heard the testimonies and recollections, but think . . .
here was an example of a roaring lamb in everyday life . . .
of course this all comes back to roaring lambs, doesn't it? . . .
doesn't everything lately? . . .
well stop rolling your eyes for a minute to read this . . .
one thing i have noticed in regards to all this roaring lambs talk . . .
is a resistance that i had difficulties understanding early on . . .
and my confusion gave way to disdain until understanding helped me see . . .
one of the big reasons people have been up in arms about this . . .
is that it seems unreachable . . .
most of the talk around it, since it has been mainly on a music site . . .
has been about musical performers being roaring lambs . . .
and that creates somewhat of a rift between those that are capable . . .
or have such a broad platform . . .
and us, the common Christians . . .
this was never, i believe, intended by Briner . . .
Roaring Lambs is partially a call to those that influence the arts . . .
but it is also a call to those that influence perhaps only one or two other individuals . . .
our lives are not less important . . .
the servant that doubled his two talents was as proportionally blessed . . .
as the servant that doubled his five . . .
it is the servant that buried his one, that we need to avoid bearing likeness to . . .
so let me tell you a little about this particular lamb . . .
he was an eye doctor . . .
so he had many patients that came in and out of his office . . .
the first characteristic that they noticed about him . . .
was his attentiveness and interest in them . . .
not just their eyes . . .
them . . .
he was known to have great conversations with each patient . . .
he made them important, and by doing so, showed them what love is . . .
as a matter of testing his patient's eyesight . . .
he would have them read scripture . . .
a subtle, simple little action that had significant impact . . .
he offered free services to those that needed it . . .
he did many things . . .
participated in many wonderful community programs . . .
but most importantly . . .
he knew Love . . .
and he lived it faithfully . . .
teaching others of that saving knowledge . . .
and his impact was far greater than even he probably imagined . . .
i'll tidy up this discussion with a quote from the conclusion of Lambs Among Wolves . . .
(yes i finished . . .)
"If you think that you can never make a difference in life . . .
you probably never will."


::12March03::

resting in His arms . . .
seven to eight o'clock pm is a special time for me . . .
i generally make it home from work sometime between 5:30 and 6 each night . . .
at which point i change, settle in and eat dinner . . .
and by seven i reach over to pick up my son for a bit of playtime . . .
before i settle him into my arms for his evening catnap . . .
interestingly, my son will enjoy the time playing . . .
he stands on my lap, grabs at my face, works on speaking . . .
and then there is the turning point where he needs his nap . . .
he starts to get a bit cranky, less amused . . .
so i'll nestle him down in my arms . . .
and, you would think, he just dozes off to sleep . . .
nope, not my son . . .
turning horizontal is apparently the worst fate known to this little man . . .
it is at that point when he cranes his neck . . .
kicks his feet . . .
waves his arms . . .
and, at times, wails . . .
no matter how heavy his eyelids . . .
he will fight falling asleep with every ounce of energy he can muster . . .
it is a sight to be seen . . .
i patiently wait for the calm . . .
do my best to facilitate adding weight to his eyelids . . .
and wait it out . . .
(i figure i should be capable of more stubbornness than a six month old) . . .
as he drifts off, i watch his face relax . . .
i detect the sense of comfort . . .
and finally peace . . .
when he wakes, he is happier than before . . .
and it is even more obvious that sleep is what he needed . . .
so, what does that have to do with anything? . . .
God is often pictured as a loving father who longs for us to nestle safely in His arms . . .
for much needed rest and peace . . .
how often do we ignore that call and fight with every strain of our being . . .
i know i do . . .


::10March03::

well, i am for the most part "back" . . .
i am pretty much recovered from the worst illness i've ever experienced . . .
which decended upon me Thursday night . . .
but i still can't shake this strangeness . . .
something just doesn't feel right . . .
and oh man, am i beat . . .
i mean, i'm fine and all . . .
just feel like a funk has remained . . .
interestingly enough, my computer seems to sympathize . . .
i have gotten quite a bit of quirkiness locally and abroad the internet . . .
well . . .
one thing i know for sure . . .
i am behind on a lot of work . . .


::03March03::

once again my morning read has been foiled by bad traffic . . .
grrrr . . .
of course, it was only an hour and a half today. . .
not three and a half, so i shouldn't complain . . .
and i was able to listen to Dietrick Haddon's Lost and Found in its entirety . . .
and even the upbeat songs twice . . .
and i read three pages of my one minute Bible readings . . .
well, it's all good . . .
maybe over lunch i'll read a little from Lambs Among Wolves . . .
anyway . . .


my beef with Cheese:: . . .
i finally got around to reading Who Moved My Cheese? . . .
not surprisingly, i took some issues with it . . .
i found it particularly interesting having just completed the latest Frank Peretti book . . .
The Veritas Project #2: The Nightmare Academy . . .
(yes, i know it's intended for a younger audience . . .
but it is a good read) . . .
Anyway, about the cheese . . .
i guess my main concern with the book . . .
is that "cheese" is the main goal . . .
okay, in case you haven't read the book . . .
let me back up a second and define some terms here . . .
the "story" has four characters . . .
two mice and two little people. . .
these four characters exist to find cheese in the maze of life . . .
we are led to believe that to the mice, cheese is simply sustenance . . .
to the little people, cheese is what makes them happy . . .
offers security, is the measure of success . . .
basically cheese is money . . .
is the end goal of life . . .
now, it is the goal of life, according to the book, to get cheese . . .
to keep getting cheese . . .
to always be on the look out for new cheese . . .
On the premise of teaching preparedness for change . . .
Who Moved My Cheese? teaches dissatisfaction . . .
it teaches the reader not to be content . . .
for contentment leads to stubbornness which leads to no cheese . . .
and no way of getting new cheese . . .
you see, if i subscribe to the methods of this book . . .
this is how i run my life . . .
make money . . .
watch my money, carefully noting any changes to it (supply or source). . .
while i am making money and watching after my money . . .
i should also be looking for new, better ways to make more money . . .
even to the point that i change my belief system . . .
i should strive to make more money . . .
bottom line, it's all about money . . .
now, we know that no man can serve two masters . . .
you cannot serve both God and money . . .
(you will love one and hate the other) . . .
anyway . . .
the other problem i had with the cheese . . .
(and this is what correlates The Veritas book) . . .
is that the ideal employee, or outlook as an employee . . .
is that of the two mice . . .
who, when they realized there was no cheese left where they normally found it . . .
just picked up and moved on in search for new cheese . . .
now, there's nothing wrong with that per se . . .
the reason the mice are able to do that . . .
is that they are simple . . .
they are not "burdened by a belief system" . . .
to me, that says that life will be much easier . . .
if we would simply stop holding firmly to our beliefs . . .
including, and i believe intentionally, our religious values . . .
subtle as it may be, i can see the underlying cry of postmodernism . . .
(lack of recognition of absolutes in life) . . .
and that pretty much irritates me . . .


one more quick rant that will probably seem a bit insensitive . . .
but i have to get it off my chest . . .
if you regularly check your email . . .
i'm sure you've gotten one recently about the magical 03/03/03 day of prayer . . .
if not, follow the logic with me . . .
because it's the third day of the third month of 2003 . . .
3:33 PM is apparently the perfect time to unite in prayer . . .
to ask for great and unsearchable answers from God . . .
(Jeremiah 33:3, the verse of the day . . .) . . .
now, i know i'm a bit on the cynical side . . .
and i am in no way efforting to limit or undermine the power of prayer . . .
but am i the only one who sees this as a bit over the top . . .?
okay, well, let my include some things the email forgot . . .
in order to appropriately approach the trinity. . .
(which is obviously the reasoning behind the importance of 3) . . .
you must gather in groups of three . . .
on the third floor of your respective building . . .
preferably in a room the has 3 in the room number . . .
unbutton the third button from the bottom of your shirt . . .
(should be safe in most cases) . . .
facing each other in the shape of a triangle, interlock your third fingers . . .
count to three and at 3:33 PM, begin praying and continue for 3 minutes and 33 seconds each . . .
when you finish, turn around three times in place . . .
take three steps back . . .
take the stairs back to your office, only lighting on every third stair . . .
send three people an email about your prayer . . .
call whoever is number 3 on your speed dial . . .
tell them you love them three times . . .
and write a check for $3.33 and send it to your favorite non-profit . . .
(better put three stamps on it . . . if only they were still 33 cent stamps) . . .
now, take three deep breaths . . .
behold the power of numerology . . . i mean God . . .
hmm . . .
sounds perfect . . .
maybe we can get Allen Iverson to endorse this thing . . .
i mean, he wears the number 3 . . .
and his nick name is "the Answer" . . .
(oh, nevermind, he said it would cost $3 mil) . . .