26 feb 2k2
there is no such thing as a common suicide . . .
there's no normal way to take your life . . .
and there's nothing normal about someone killing themselves . . .
sadly, though, it does happen and because each case is intricately different . . .
there are no guidelines for the dealing with such news . . .
a few things tend to be consistent, however . . .
and that is that the resultant emotions must be dealt with some way . . .
counseling must be given somehow . . .
and if left alone, suicide is contageous . . .
so when i was asked to help facilitate a meeting that had the intention of addressing a recent occurrence . . .
i knew i had to help out . . .
and i knew it wouldn't be easy . . .
i still remember clearly the summer before my senior year of high school . . .
hearing the news . . .
dropping the phone in disbelief . . .
dropping to my knees in utter grief . . .
knowing all too well the reasoning . . .
all the questions with no answers . . .
wanting so badly to talk about it . . .
and wanting so badly not to think about it . . .
and wanting so badly for it not to be . . .
i was just a kid . . .
and so was he . . .
and as i looked around at the group gathered in the basement coffeehouse . . .
i thought, these are just kids . . .
and all the questions came rushing back . . .
see, i never found the answers to all the questions i had . . .
i just found out that not all questions have answers . . .
not suitable ones anyway . . .
it is always difficult to see innocence eclipsed . . .
and this case was no different . . .
i watched as they spoke of their departed friend . . .
i heard their hard questions . . .
i saw their emotions clearly . . .
it was good for them to talk about it . . .
it was good for us to pray . . .
one of the most difficult questions in a situation such as this . . .
is that of salvation . . .
there is no answer to give but below i address the issue as best i can . . .
Q. My friend committed suicide, does that mean he can't go to heaven?
A. (after a deep breath) . . .
A lot of people will tell you that your friend traded his salvation away when he chose to take his life . . .
this statement, as many others you will hear should be taken with a grain of salt as they say . . .
that is, to say, it is somewhat tasteless . . .
so, let's take a look at some arguments for both viewpoints . . .
suicide is a sin . . .
the Bible says not to kill and suicide is killing. . .
but it is a transgression with much more attached to it . . .
arriving at a place in life where you would choose to end it, doesn't happen overnight . . .
it's often a decision that is made in haste with little thought or regard of the cost . . .
short-sightedly it happens and the pain once felt by your friend has been transferred to everyone around him . . .
what's really going on behind the scenes of a suicide is that the victim . . .
has decided that he is wiser than God . . .
he has decided, that, God doesn't understand, doesn't know, or just doesn't care about the difficulties life has presented . . .
he has decided that these difficulties, this pain, this emptiness is too much to bear . . .
and that, since God isn't doing anything about it . . .
it is time to take control and take the action God is ignoring . . .
in a sense, he is denying God and His sovereignty . . .
to deny God, is to accept a seperation from Him . . .
HOWEVER . . .
there is another point of view . . .
remember earlier i said that suicide was often the result of short-sightedness . . .
that is to say that all the consequences were not taken into account . . .
the full scope of this act was not fully understood . . .
thus this action was taken without a comprehensive knowledge of what would truly be happening . . .
sound at all familiar? . . .
of the seven quotations of Christ on the cross, one that stands out in my mind is recorded in Luke 23:34 . . .
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (NKJV) . . .
. . .
As i said previously, there are no definitive answers to this or many other questions . . .
however, one thing is clear, that God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should have everlasting life . . .
the question is not, then, Did God let my friend into Heaven . . .
as we know God is willing to forgive . . .
but rather, did my friend accept this forgiveness? . . .
again, a question with no answer on this side of existence . . .
i continually pray for the loss you are coping with . . .
16 feb 2k2
memories are a tricky thing . . .
despite all that science has done to map out where in the brainscape memories are stored . . .
little has definitively determined why certain events are retained and others are not. . .
to be continued at a later date . . .
(do i need to get the calendar up or what?
7 feb 2k2
CD for the day: SwitchFoot - Learning to Breathe
so i'm going through a bit of a drought . . .
i did write a bit the other day, but get this . . .
it was on paper, crazy huh?
maybe soon i'll break through . . .
there's just so much on my mind . . .
' could you do it for me?
could you do it for me?
'cause i'm playing for keeps . . .
tell me tomorrow has come
with open arms, open arms, open arms . . .
if You say it's time to move on . . .
then i'll stop holding on, holding on, holding on
if you say it's time for moving on . . .'
- Switchfoot Play For Keeps
just lovin that song lately . . .
Hey Look Cool, the scrollbar is ORANGE! YES . . .
2 feb 2k2
if we pay attention . . .
we are reminded daily of our mortality . . .
some days the reminders are subtle . . .
and they often go unnoticed . . .
and others are much more blatant and painful . . .
if we only pay attention . . .
there is a lot to say for being by the side of a loved one during their last hours . . .
it is very supportive and a loving thing to do . . .
i imagine that it can also be somewhat painful . . .
i believe it has a place . . .
i also see the other side of it . . .
why replace the memories . . .
we just spoke of this the other day . . .
the fact that it is more of a graduation than an expulsion . . .
a relief rather than a tragedy . . .
but it still hurts . . .
i'll still miss him . . .
my memories are all fond . . .
and yet still so sorted . . .
it is difficult . . .
as a generation wanes . . .
another originates within . . .
my thoughts and prayers are with my family . . .
1 feb 2k2
please words come. . .