finished Roaring Lambs today. . .
been writing a lot for TRu-dAT music lately . . .
i've made it a goal of mine to get that going better . . .
originally the intention of this site . . .
was to get me writing . . .
and the intention of TRu-dAT . . .
was to get me writing in a certain style. . .
and, i do want to write more . . .
couple quick things today. . .
so, the other day i was a participant in a discussion . . .
and the question arose . . .
"How would you react, or act, if the world immediately surrounding you . . .
became hostile to Christianity" . . .
basically, would you stand firmly for your beliefs . . .
if your life was threatened . . .
the popular answer was "i don't know" . . .
and that actually does make sense, in that it's a hypothetical question . . .
and without actually being in that situation, you can't be completely certain . . .
but, in my recent readings . . .
it has occurred to me, that you can get a well calculated idea . . .
two scriptures in particular lead me to believe this . . .
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much,
and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
most people read that and immediately assume it's about getting rewards . . .
and it does relate to that . . .
if you are faithful and wise with a small amount of money . . .
you will most likely be faithful and wise with a large amount of money . . .
it's the foundations and framework, so to speak, that is laid and can expand as needed . . .
but this also ties in with your actions . . .
simply put, if you are faithful when you face a small amount of persecution . . .
say, someone jokes about a decision you made based on your beliefs . . .
and you stand firm . . .
that, too, is groundwork for when you face bigger and "better" persecution . . .
/// i can't seem to remember the other though at this time . . .
i'll have to get back to it . . .
ahh, yes now i remember . . .
again the idea is that if we are faithful in keeping our walk right day to day . . .
But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will
give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.
when the time comes . . .
the words will find us . . .
if we stand firm daily . . .
we will stand firm under persecution. . .
my head feels like one of those magnetic poetry games . . .
just a bunch of random words and phrases stuck all over the board . . .
in a big conglomerate pileup . . .
and none of it will ever makes sense unless i the words off . . .
and put them in the right order . . .
and, of course, discard the excess . . .
can you believe it took me three days . . .
** having been extremely busy and not in the best of moods over the past few days . . .
this entry is kind of a cumulative effort to combine the thoughts of the last few days . . .
so i'm getting into a bit of a schedule that affords me time for reading . . .
and, i have begun reading
Roaring Lambs . . .
and so far it's all i had hoped . . .
strange though, and i think i may have mentioned it before . . .
with a different book . . .
have you ever read a conceptual/philosophical book . . .
and as your reading you get the feeling . . .
that it's more reaffirming things you've already discovered . . .
than hitting you with new concepts or ideas . . .
i think it's a sign of God's work within us . . .
Anyway, here's an example . . .
in chapter 2 Briner talks about scorekeepers . . .
and just the other day i was talking about stats fiends . . .
Briner basically says that it's not part of God's plan for us to "keep score" . . .
regarding the work we do for the Kingdom . . .
that the keeping of scores, will not only be inneffective . . .
but it will also, hinder us from doing more work . . .
because we'll be busy trying to find a justifiable reason to pat ourselves on our backs . . .
(and actually, as Briner puts it, we will have no cause to rejoice . . .
because by the world's standards, we will lose) . . .
Anyway, my recent rant kinda touched on the same ideas . . .
and i would further draw the comparison to David and his army census debacle. . .
and infer that it is Satan and not God that motivates us to such activities . . .
and there was something else that really hit me from the second chapter . . .
oh, yeah . . .
Briner states . . .
we do not have to be the best in our field . . .
but we must be at our best if we are to be effective . . .
yeah, i'm also reading
My Utmost for His Highest . . .
perhaps the best part of this book is that . . .
it is supposed to take me a whole year to read . . .
but, wow, there are some tough concepts in that one . . .
the other day Oswald Chambers told me (through the pages) . . .
that if God gives you a gift or a talent . . .
and you don't use it effectively . . .
to bring glory to him . . .
it will become "spiritual dry-rot" . . .
Yikes! . . .
anyway . . .
that is how i end my days now . . .
(reading My Utmost . . .) . . .
so . . .
if you could've eavesdropped during my morning drive . . .
and heard my conversation with God this morning . . .
you might have heard some of the bantering below . . .
in medias res, of course . . .
me: . . . but i have considered it . . .
it just doesn't seem to make sense . . .
He: It doesn't have to . . .
me: but at this stage of my life . . .
i mean, think about it . . .
does it really make sense at this point of my life . . .
for me to [ fill in the blank ] . . .
He: It doesn't need to make sense to you.
me: but i have obligations . . .
He: Have I ever failed you?
me: but . . .
He: Have I ever neglected, even a sparrow?
Are not sparrows sold five for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten . . .
you are worth more than many sparrows.*
me: but i have plans, goals, aspirations . .
He: I know the plans I have for you . . .
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future . . .**
me: (deep sigh) but how is it gonna work? where will i find the time . . .
He: do you know WHO I AM?
me: but why can't it make sense?
He: (deep sigh)
* (Luke 12:6,8b)
** (Jeremiah 29:11)
well, obviously i've integrated a bit of tongue in cheek there . . .
but you get the idea . . .
yeah, so here am i . . .
arm-wrestling with the maker of arms . . .
what a fool i can be . . .
So, in one of the Bible readings i do daily . . .
i was reading in John 20, when Mary Magdalene tells Peter and John that the tomb is empty . . .
and i come to verse four and i can't help but laugh . . .
"Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first."
are you kidding me? .. .
do these disciples not take every opportunity to compete with each other . . .
from "who will be the greatest in Your Kingdom?" to this . . .
"well, we were both running, but Peter couldn't keep up with me . . ."
man, did i get a good belly laugh out of that passage today . . .
of course, i could be reading into it a bit . . .
so . . .
sometimes life provides it's own humor . . .
like the other day in the midst of a heavy workload . . .
i managed to have this error message . . .
(i know, it's technically an "alert") . . .
pop up and inform me that hope was not to be found . . .
anyway . . .
such is life . . .
speaking of work . . .
man have i been busy . . .
and normally i don't mind being busy . . .
but it's the reason behind the sense of urgency . . .
that just irks me to no end . . .
see, i have been yelled at . . .
pushed, and under pressure . . .
to update pages upon pages of statistics . . .
so that the higher-ups can pat themselves on their backs . . .
for their "accomplishments" . . .
this past week i have basically existed at work . . .
to fuel the egos of people with already raging egos . . .
and i fail to find that in our mission statement . . .
statistics . . .
ahh, statistics . . .
see, now, this is something queer on the web . . .
(to borrow a phrase from an old book series that for some reason popped into my head) . . .
(SOMETHING QUEER MYSTERY SERIES by Elizabeth Levy, in case you missed it) . . .
i mean, certainly, analyzing statistics can help you focus on your practices . . .
and even improve your overall appeal or service . . .
but, statistics, especially on the web are flawed . . .
and it is sinful to take pride in how many hits your site got last month . . .
but, how do you measure success, you ask . . .
i am at peace with God . . .
and i know that i am serving him by putting forth my best effort . . .
anything else is loss . . .
well, it's a new year . . .
and as years come and go . . .
i suppose reflection is the thing to do . . .
reflection and planning . . .
but first, my current state of mind . . .
i've realized that i am a fairly driven person . . .
i tend to be goal-oriented and drive myself to accomplish a lot . . .
sometimes more than i really can . . .
and i sometimes feel inadequate because i can't accomplish all i set my mind to . . .
i have taken this week and the previous week off . . .
and, as driven as i can sometimes be . . .
i have discovered again (this week) . . .
the comfort and enjoyment of just sitting around and doing pretty much nothing . . .
so this is me . . .
relaxing . . .
not accomplishing any of my goals . . .
i had planned to finish reading The Hobbit during this time off . . .
(and i did get through about 10 of the 200 remaining pages) . . .
it's not that i don't enjoy it. . .
it's a great book . . .
it's just hard to sit down and read . . .
life offers too many distractions sometimes . . .
and now i finally picked up a copy of Roaring Lambs. . .
i'm sure that will trump The Hobbit . . .
Anyway . . .
i did read 75 pages today . . .
it was from a Dilbert book though . . .