31 January 2K2

i thought . . .
hmmm, i thought that i could sit down . . .
semi-undistracted and ramble . . .
it was obviously not the case . . .


30 January 2K2

back in the saddle again . . .
well, i enjoyed my time away . . .
and i have three and a half pages to my book . . .
if only i can keep writing . . .
i have 27 pages to catch up to my initial goal for the year of a page a day . . .
that and all the work that piled up in my absence. . .
and i would like to get started on other projects and complete others . . .
i think it would be a good thing to sit down and blurt out everything on my mind. . .
and then try to organize it . . .
i pray for the strength to achieve these goals . . .
and the discipline to stay on track . . .
and the wisdom to know what's what . . .
ok, gotta go . . .


18 January 2K2

i never really got into riding rollercoasters. . .
by that i mean, i was never the kind of guy that "had" to go ride all the rollercoasters . . .
i am content to go to an amusement park and just walk around . . .
sometimes, people-watching is amusing enough for me i guess . . .
not that i'm afraid to ride the coasters, or that i got sick because of them . . .
i just never saw the point i guess . . .
if i ever got nauseous or nerved about rollercoasters (because i have ridden my share) . . .
it was in the line waiting for the ride . . .
or during the chunk-chunking to the top of the steepest drop . . .
in other words it was in the preparation for the experience . . .
the anticipation of the journey . . .
the thought that it might make me sick . . .
that it might not go as i planned . . .
that i would be completely beyond my own control . . .
trusting the architects and builders, creators and designers, that i would be safe . . .
i think the best thing about rollercoasters though is that despite my doubts, worries or concerns . . .
as soon as i'm in that seat, chunk-chunking up that incline . . .
getting nervous, second-guessing my decision, thinking about being on the ground walking like a "normal" being . . .
regardless of all my thoughts, there is no turning back . . .
i'm clipped into my seat for the duration . . .
there is no way i can, in my wavering, stop the ride once it's begun . . .
and as we reach the apex collectively, and the front car members begin to scream . . .
we are going through with it, i am going through with it . . .
i'm strapped in for the long haul (despite it being perhaps a 30 second ride) . . .
i will be in this chair following the tracks' design all the way until i've reached the end . . .
the goal has been attained . . .
the completion has been revealed . . .
and as soon as the drop begins, relief sets in and my questions are answered . . .
if i scream it's from exhileration . . .
what a rush . . .
and i want to do it again . . .
sometimes i wish God would clip me into my seat in life and make me stay on His track . . .
then i could experience His fulfillment in my life over and over . . .


i have had some incredible dialogues in the last week . . .
and i've been so busy with work, with busyness, with wasting time . . .
that loyal readers, reader, whatever, have noticed that i haven't been posting here lately . . .
well, i haven't been writing . . .
i don't have any real legitimate excuses, i've certainly had things to write about going through my head . . .
three conversations stick out in my head from the last week that offer plenty of fuel in and of themselves . . .
i just haven't written . . .
i just haven't followed through. . .
and i've sat hands-under-rear so to speak, on a few projects i had hoped to have a good start on by now . . .
so these conversations . . .

all righty i'm signing off.

11 January 2K2

so i don't normally put humor here, but i thought i'd give into one of my vices . . .
and share with you an engaging dialogue i recently had with a fairly annoying ebayer.
it is absolutely word-for-word correct. . .
enjoy . . .


Question for seller:

Is this [MovieTitle] DVD new?


RE: Question for seller:

Thank you for your interest in my auction. To answer your question, I purchased the DVD new and watched it once on the Widescreen side (it is

double-sided with widescreen on one side and standard on the other). It has been in the case ever since.


Question for seller:

Does the box say whether it has the standard screen format?


RE: Question for seller:

The DVD is double-sided. One side has the widescreen format, the other side has the standard format.


Question for seller:

what condition is the DVD?


RE: Question for seller:

The DVD is in near-mint condition because i purchased it new, watched it only once and it kept it in the original case ever since.


Question for seller:

Is this new?


RE: Question for seller:

[USERNAME] - (obviously a jets fan) -
hey, let's think this through . . .
together shall we?

"Is this new?"

please be more creative with your questions, i mean really, you've already used that one. Let's try to come up with some better, less-redundant questions. How about some of the following:

"is this still in the original packaging?" "does the DVD have any fingerprints on it?" "is the DVD case laced with traces of any malicious disease-ridden molecules?" "Does the DVD ACTUALLY have Total Recall on it?" "Is the DVD designed to withstand heat in excess of 212 degrees Fahrenheit?"

Now, you may think me brash, but i would actually prefer it that you do not consider buying my DVD. As annoying as this, the initial stage of the transaction is, i can only imagine how much of a nuisance you will be when i attempt to collect payment. I can see it now . . .

"Do you take checks?" "Do you take checks with checks on them? how about flowers?" "Can i pay in small, unmarked bills?" "Do you make change?" "Will you accept payment in pennies?"

Thanks for the interest, but greater thanks if you leave me alone and allow my headache to pass.

Oh yes, and good luck against the Raiders this weekend. Have a nice day.


Question for seller:

sorry - is sent the question out to a dozen different people and was unsure who responded. I'll buy it elsewhere as you wish. Thanks for the wishes against Oakland, I think we need all the luck we can get. I think you may have way too much time on your hands. LOL


RE: Question for seller:

Actually, not enough time on my hands to answer the same question over, and over and over . . .




09 January 2K2

you bid me come
and i am afraid to respond.
can't you see what's going on . . .
i am tossed as the billowing sea . .
can't you see me
i have an image in my head . . .
but through the storm and mist
i can only catch the gist . . .

you bid me come
and i hold my reply
don't you realize my situation . . .
i am attacked on all sides. . .
don't you realize my fear
i hear your voice in my head
bidding me to leave this place
i can't make out your face . . .

you bid me come
and i fear my response.
can't you be closer to me . . .
i should recognize your voice . . .
can't you be here.
i have doubts clouding my thoughts
but staring through the rain
i see your eyes expressing your pain. . .

you bid me come
and i am afraid to try
don't you want me to be comfortable
i am shaken as my world is torn apart
don't you want comfort?
i see you reaching through the clouds
as i step down from the ledge
i am reminded of your pledge.


when we feel that we have achieved a level of comfort
on our own merits.
all we need is for our boat to shake
our bough to break
and our souls will wake
and we will see His glory.
until then
we are but mere men.


03 January 2K2

well, it is so easy to let all these day to day tasks really take over my daily life . . .
my head is just so full of SCHTUFF!!! . . .
anyway . . .


i sometimes wonder where i am . . .
and why? . . .
who i am . . . and how?
and how . . .
sometimes, i'm just so bogged down with things . . .
sometimes, i'm just ignoring too much willfully . . .
sometimes . . .
i feel like a man who has climbed to the top of a mountain . . .
and after a long, arduous endeavor . . .
rather than feeling relieved, excited that i have completed this great goal . . .
i stop, stare, and realize that i now have a better view . . .
of the mountain i was supposed to have been climbing . . .
to that effort, i am in anguish . . .
knowing i must discard all i have in my journey's supply bag . . .
wipe the sweat from my brow, descend and begin again . . .
knowing that i have been in this exact predicament before . . .
knowing that in all likelihood . . .
i will be back again . . .
ready to collapse . . .
but ready still . . .
and i must continue . . .
but where?


02 January 2K2

YES! . . .
i completely managed to coast into the new year . . .
in idle mode . . .
just kind of passively watched the clock tick off and unmotivated, i did nothing . . .
what a great start . . .
of course if last year is any indication, there will only be one more entry this month . . .
the greatness of underachieving one year is that it so easy to outdo yourself the next . . .
anyway . . .
i do in fact have some high expectations for the year and my ambition exceeds that of last year . . .
we shall see . . .
well, i'm off to do some work . . .